Before we begin the “happy parade”, effectively pooping on all of us who don’t feel happiness a lot, it’s important to note this:
Happy people aren’t always happy
Seriously, who’s happy all the time? Sounds like a neurological condition… (also very unrealistic). In fact, they’re just people, who happen to have a consistent positive outlook on life and tend to benefit from the emotional and physical outcomes that happiness provides. Logically, this creates a cycle of feel-good tendencies, and so once the ball is rolling it’s easy to maintain. Like the vicious cycle of self-loathing and depression, happiness also has a cycle which feeds off of itself.
I think the hardest part of being happy is the getting over it part. There is so much we hold on to, from the mundane and irritating to the far too large and overwhelming. We feel shame, guilt, oppression, depression, hopelessness, stress, worry and self-doubt. We replay the negative moments over and over again as if it’s somehow going to change what’s happened. We then worry about future struggles or oncoming disasters that may or may not be around the corner. We forget how we can mould life into the shape we want it to be, and spend far too much time in the grips of a debilitating emotion that doesn’t serve us.
The happiness quote that I love most, is a reminder that we are all capable of being that positive person. (Not annoyingly positive of course, I mean there is a line for God’s sake). Anyway, this is it:
Happiness is not out there, it’s in you
Just like the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.” It’s a reminder that the real change is within you, not around you, and the capabilities are there for the harnessing. Happiness can happen to you wherever you are, so don’t try too hard, or lose yourself in the pursuit of it.
1. Happy People Embrace Change
The reason change scares so many people, is the sensation it brings of ‘venturing into the unknown’. The realisation of what we may have to give up, or adjust to. The feeling of being outside your comfort zone and faced with new challenges you may feel unprepared to deal with. These are all valid reasons for why we may fear change, but at the same time, we can’t expect ourselves to progress or grow without it. They say that there are two things that are certain in life – death and taxes – but also, a third: change. Evolving, changing or adapting to new circumstances is not only a biological fact of life, it’s a necessary occurrence for personal growth.
2. Happy People Celebrate The Achievement’s of Others
It’s normal to feel that pang of jealousy when someone achieves something you want, or have aspired to be. The jealousy may stem from a feeling of inadequacy, or longing, and it’s a natural emotion that we see from our earliest years after birth. It’s not that happy people don’t feel jealousy, they simply override the negativity with genuine joy that the people close to them are succeeding or feeling good in life. Happy people are positively affected when their peers succeed in life, it gives them a sense of pride, hope and merriment.
3. Happy People Are Never Victims For Long
Whether we’re a victim of a horrendous act, witness to a traumatic ordeal or are simply going through a bout of bad luck, happy people never dwell on it. Whether it’s a person, a circumstance or the universe itself that’s done the wrong-doing, happy people choose to let go. Everyone in life is wronged at some point, maybe even multiple times. It’s not acceptable, but no one promised that humanity would be without it’s trials and tribulations. The truth is that life isn’t fair, and bad things will happen regardless of the fail-safes we think we have in place. Happy people choose to get on with it, because the only way to better their situation is to find the silver linings, hold onto them for dear life and push forward. Soon, the sting hurts a little less, the trauma fades a little more and the lessons we learn become greater and more valuable.
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