Don’t hold it all in – we look at why confronting our emotional pain is the only way forward for a healthy, progressive life.
Face your fears. Confront your emotional pain. The ethos is the same but the reality is rather different. It is one thing to fear heights and force yourself to climb a mountain or look over the edge of a precipice, it is quite another to focus in on something that has caused you emotional pain, open up the wound, and try to repair the damage.
The thing is, those in the know – and I mean professionals who study this stuff for a living and a life long goal – have told us that if we stock up on emotional baggage we are causing ourselves actual physical damage. In order to be our healthiest selves we need to reduce such back logs of hurt, allow ourselves a life of freedom from pain and suffering, and move forward to live a progressive and positive life.
Emotional pain causes us to hold back, once we manage it and let it go we are free from that and no longer need to withhold.
When we hold back we are not sharing our true feelings, we are not being honest and present, but rather shying away from how we really feel. This affects our behaviour and attitude in such moments which can have the knock on effect of preventing us from acting naturally towards others. When someone is experiencing emotional pain they may well sit quietly and refrain from responding or explaining themselves in a given situation, perhaps one which has triggered such pain, and so it is impossible for the people present to comprehend how that person is feeling and why. All they are presented with is a blank wall. A barrier of silence. The person feeling the pain is at the same time full of emotions, memories, feelings, fears, anxiety, and has little capacity to realise what their outer shell is showing, nor that the people around them are left alone in the matter, wondering. This is dysfunctional and a breakdown in communication is clearly the result.
Many of us are actually aware that we withhold in situations like this, rather than confront. Confrontation can be the hardest thing to do – even harder than shutting out a loved one and rendering them alienated.
If you happen to be the person on the receiving end of such an alienation it is essential to realise that the person you are dealing with is suffering, it is not you causing this reaction, it is their personal issues that are encouraging them to present you with limited information. It may well be possible to get through to them and help them if you offer a loving outstretched hand, but to be clear, they may not take your olive branch and this is not your fault. Recognising that you are not essentially being ignored and rejected by this person intentionally is important as it can otherwise be easy to take it personally. Once you see that it is their pain causing the issue then you may develop more compassion to their situation.
If you are the person with the emotional pain and have a negative habitual mode of response, then the first step in combatting this is to recognise the pain, why are we feeling a certain way about a particular thing or scenario? We need to locate the pain and where it came from, to look hard in the face of the roots of it. This may mean looking back as far as childhood and confronting moments in your life that you never wished to revisit, that have been buried deep in you for many years for a reason. However, burying something does not effectively remove it from your existence, it allows it to remain and affect you forever. This can effect your judgement and emotions without even realising the cause. And so to open up any painful experiences you may have had and get to the bottom of that hurt, talk about it and analyse it in terms of how it made you feel and why, is the initial exercise in the procedure.
Once you have located the pain and understood it, now it needs to be released. You have to let it go. Find a way to be at peace with it, perhaps you need to forgive someone, maybe it is yourself or a loved one, or recognise that something was not your fault, or someone else’s, whatever your personal experience, that negative pent up memory needs to be sent off into the universe to dissolve, no longer to be bound to you or your existence. The power of this release can be overwhelming. It can provide a huge sense of freedom and empowerment. All the links to choices and feelings made due to that painful memory being a part of you can now be altered to the consciousness of the new you, the one who is able to make new decisions based on clarity and awareness, not the person held down by emotional pain and baggage.
Try to open yourself up to exploring your emotions and explaining them to those around you when the need arises. Don’t hold back. When it comes to our health, recognising our emotional pain can be a huge factor in preventing stress, anxiety, depression etc. all of which can negatively impact our physical health. Psychological pain can equal physical pain. It’s all about balance and the body and mind need that just as much as any other system in our incredible selves! For many people a professional is required to aid in locating and resolving such intense internal emotions, whatever your method happens to be, the confrontation and releasing of pain may well be the best thing you can do towards leading a healthy, progressive life.
If this inspires you to investigate further into psychotherapy, please take a look at the course on offer at the School of Natural Heath Courses outlined below.
Online Diploma in Psychotherapy & Counselling
Our Psychotherapy & Counselling course provides a basis to work from for many other therapies. As a holistic therapist, listening and talking to people is the core of your everyday working environment. Aiming to help and understand individuals, while working towards alleviating their anxieties with compassion, understanding, and guidance are the qualities of a Professional Counsellor and in this course you will learn how to achieve this goal.
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